Tumblr: Don't cha wish your users were hot like mine.
Tumblr: Don't cha wish your users were always online.
Tumblr: DON'T CHA
Facebook: Stop. This isn't funny anymore.
Tumblr: DON'T CHA

wowfunniestposts:

ha. happened couple of times trying to figure out which one is vodka coke and which one is coke. so Nisya and I just smelled the cups -_-

this blog is hilarious

(Source: awesomephilia)

zackisontumblr:

Screw you guys, I’m going home.

(Source: dashingfoxx)

(Source: brink182, via sea-is-rising)

i cybered on omegle today You: hi
Stranger: hey
You: wanna cyber
Stranger: Depends are you a girl? ;)
You: ya
Stranger: And okay then, you start?
You: i come into ur bedroom
You: and ur sleeping
You: and i crawl under your blanket
Stranger: I'm still asleep
You: u feel me pulling down ur pants
You: and u wake up and smile
Stranger: I kiss you gently, still sleepy
You: then i smile and open the scissors around your dick and snap them closed
You: cutting off your penis
Stranger: wait
You: THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR CHEATING ON ME
Stranger: Then what...?
You: I HATE YOU
Stranger: I didn't cheat
You: you bleed to death in your bed
Stranger: i didn't cheat on you. lets restart ok
You: nobody ever knows what happened
You: i flee to mexico with your Mercedes
You: the end
Stranger: I have a mercedes?
You: not anymore faggot

wowfunniestposts:

this blog is hilarious

math test: a farmer plants 7 crops of tomatoes and 3 crops of carrots what is the probablity his moms name is leslie
history test: the american civil war ended in 1865, explain how this had a defining role in the extinction of dinosaurs
literature test: explain what the author meant by, "the apple was as red as an apple"
physics tests: The aliens ate 3.4 doughnuts. Their crumbs fell to the Earth because of gravity. Calculate how many penguins are eating pancakes at the speed of light.

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